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Gottman Method Couples Therapy

Couples who feel connected, are supportive, and treat each other with consideration, are much more likely to have intimate, satisfying relationships.

Dr. Carey is a Certified Gottman Therapist 

This means she has completed advanced training in the application of Gottman Method Couples Therapy, including all three standard Gottman classes (i.e., Level 1, Level 2, Level 3), as well as the Gottman Institute’s Treating Affairs and Trauma and Couples and Addiction Recovery courses. It also means that Dr. Carey spent two years learning to apply that training by regularly working with a Senior Certified Gottman Therapist who reviewed videos of her actual couples sessions and coached her to become a master in the use of the Gottman Method.

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The Gottman Method involves customizing principles developed from scientific research to each couple’s particular patterns and challenges.

About Gottman Method Couples Therapy 

Dr. John Gottman, a Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, entered the field of psychological research with a background in advanced mathematics and statistical analysis. In the course of his 40+ year career he has developed mathematical models, scales, and formulas to identify the elements of stability in relationships and the interactive patterns that cause couples to divorce. Gottman was drawn to this research topic due to his own puzzlement at how people develop happy relationships. From this research, Drs. John and Julie Gottman have created a method of therapy that emphasizes a "nuts-and-bolts" approach to improving clients' relationships.

Gottman’s studies pointed to relationship difficulties caused by the “Four Horsemen,” named after the famous Albrecht Durer engraving: Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

THE FOUR HORSEMEN

CRITICISM--blaming a relationship problem on your partner's personality flaws

CONTEMPT--combining criticism of your partner with descriptions of your own superiority and disgust with your partner

 

DEFENSIVENESS--defending against your partner's criticism or contempt by either denying any responsibility for the problem, acting like an innocent victim, or counter-attacking your partner by criticizing him or her while ignoring his or her complaints

 

STONEWALLING--shutting down completely and refusing to offer any verbal or non-verbal responses to your partner's statements (may be accompanied by being physiologically in a flight-or-fight state)

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Couples who function effectively treat each other with consideration and are supportive of each other. 

The goals of the Gottman Method include:

  • Increasing closeness and friendship behaviors

  • Expressing fondness and admiration of each other

  • Addressing conflict productively

  • Learning to effectively compromise

  • Building and maintaining trust and commitment

  • Creating a life of shared meaning together

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Our services are available by secure, HIPAA-compliant video meetings (called "telehealth" sessions). Gottman couples sessions are particularly well-suited to the telehealth format because the Gottman Method is "dyadic" in nature. That means that you and your partner spend most of the sessions sitting next to each other and talking between yourselves while the therapist coaches

you from his/her office. 

Click here to learn how to have a

successful telehealth session.

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HEAL YOUR RELATIONSHIP

  • Manage conflict productively

  • Learn to love after an affair

  • Plan an amicable break-up/divorce

  • Eliminate factors that predict divorce 

  • Learn to calm yourself and your partner during an argument

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GROW CLOSER

  • Strengthen our friendship

  • Express fondness and admiration

  • Improve communication

  • Build a close, supportive friendship

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THRIVE TOGETHER

  • Enhance sexual satisfaction

  • Create shared meaning

  • Sustain trust and commitment

  • Become an expert listener

  • Pre-marital counseling

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